DC Is Like A Make-Your-Own Sauna

The title of this is a direct quote from a conversation I overheard while crossing the street. I wasn’t sure what he meant (besides the humidity) so I started thinking about what you need to make your own sauna, and/or what you need to make your own DC.


  • 1 cup weather app
  • 4 1/2 cups humidity
  • 5 feet rain that eventually evaporates into more humidity
  • 1 oz umbrella
  • 100 cups of strangers in either direction
  • 4 (or more) tablespoons of people you sort of know to make awkward eye contact with on the street
  • 3 oz of delayed metro trains
  • A pinch of overly air-conditioned museums or office buildings
  • 1 or 2 containers of I-have-no-idea-what-I’m-doing

Step 1: Wake up in the morning and check the weather on app. Lay out umbrella even if forecast is sunny

Step 2: Walk outside and add humidity and strangers. Mix

Step 3: Separate metro trains, add half, and delay (can also add sweatiness to strangers for extra flavour)

Step 4: Add free museums if weekend. If not, add office buildings but do not forget a dash of over-eager interns

Step 5: Mix in the rest of metro and sprinkle on people you sort of know and make awkward eye contact with

Step 6: Let sit for uncomfortable conversation or until metro arrives

Step 7: Bake in strong sunlight, rotating every half hour

Step 8: Add rain and thoroughly soak

Step 9: Garnish with I-have-no-idea-what-I’m doing and serve at an ungodly temperature. Repeat

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